The Importance of Being Present When Someone Passes Away 

Posted on October 11, 2021 by Mitchell-Jerdan Funeral Home Ltd. under cremation
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cremation services in Mattoon, IL

The loss process can be excruciating, and if someone needs to schedule cremation services in Mattoon, IL, you may not know what to do to offer them support. There can be fear around what to say and what not to say, and even with the best intentions, it can be hard to gauge what is appropriate. There are five stages that an individual can experience as they’re going through the grief process or loss of some kind, so it can take time for them to work through their feelings.

The main thing is to keep in mind that even if you are uncomfortable with their experience, they will still need your support, so do not let it prevent you from checking in with them and offering your time or company. There is no right or wrong way to handle grief, and you don’t need to have answers or offer advice unless they have asked you for it. The primary thing you can do is just provide support and be a steady presence as they go through the pain of the loss.

Understanding that there is no set time frame will help you as your helping them. This is highly beneficial because it allows you to relinquish any expectations around the experience and let it run its course naturally so that they do not feel pressure to get over the loss faster.

What do you Say?

It’s recommended not to alter the experience into something that you think it should be but instead to allow it to be what it is. Knowing what to say can be difficult, and asking something simple like, “Do you feel like talking about it?” can be a good starting point to get them to express their emotions. In some cases, they may not feel like talking at all, and that’s OK.

The individual may repeat how the person died, a healthy reaction to the process, to learn to accept the loss. Every time the story is told, it can lessen the impact, so just be present and listen patiently.

You can also ask them how they’re feeling, and this might fluctuate minute to minute on certain days. The central part of the communication is to be genuine and not decrease the loss’s impact for them or try to change it.

Things to not Say

A few things you’ll want to avoid saying to the individual are:

  • “They’re in a better place now.”
  • “It’s time to move on with your life.”
  • “It’s part of a greater plan.”
  • “Think of everything you have to be grateful for.”

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These can all sound inauthentic and create mixed negative emotions inside the person, so you want to choose your words wisely as you are speaking with them.

A Trusted Source

There’s nothing more painful than losing a loved one, so if you are looking for cremation services in Mattoon, IL, you want to pick a company that will be there with you step by step. Mitchell-Jerdan Funeral Home is a locally trusted source for compassionate care, so call us today to schedule your appointment.

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